no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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