Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize