New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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