I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
