Small penises have feelings too.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
