its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
