Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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