i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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