you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
