Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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