I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
