I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have aggressive nipples.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
