We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
