i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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