Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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