butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
