it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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