no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
