I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
