Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
