Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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