My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
