Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
