O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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