My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I came so hard my ears popped.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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