He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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