I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
