At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
