Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
