you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize