Plan B is the new Plan A
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
