And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
