I murdered the dance floor call the cops
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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