I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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