Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
