i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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