i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
