Don't you send me to vm
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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