Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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