are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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