But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No subtext here. People are naked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
