i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
