im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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