glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
