I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
