Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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