I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
