JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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