you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
