Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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