help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You need Xanax blowdarts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
