2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize