glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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