Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
