She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
