he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize