Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
