So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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