I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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