If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize