It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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