She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
