Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
