I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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