i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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