This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
