Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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